Is It Really that Bad?

This world has its way with those of us who have no fight left,
We try to get it right but we keep going left.
The sacrifice we make to feed our family,
Sometimes becomes the obstacle in becoming all you can be.
We cry those painful tears, and cruse those heavenly skies,
Yet the struggle never leaves and your still barely getting by.
The pastor said all you need is the faith of a mustard seed,
It feels like a miracle is more like what I need.
My sleepless nights become daydreams of grief and pain,
I cant stop my mind from racing…the windows of my soul still see the rain.
My confidence to provide is at an all-time low,
Every time I ask for help it seems like God always replies NO.
To show you my pain, I tattoo my skin with the story of my grief,
I feel if I could just get a second chance I would turn over a new leaf.
I argue and fight with the light
Therefore I talk to the night.
Am I to weak of a man to handle this?
Is it to much to ask for my mother’s last kiss?
I was told to push until your legs get weak,
And search relentlessly until you find what you seek.
I’m willing to die for my family and fight for my dreams,
But Lord, is my life as bad as it seems.