Watching Me

Covered with the devil’s ink writes a holy message,
I tried calling on God but he did not pick up so I left a message.
In the mean time I play Russian roulette with failure and success,
While I fight off nightmares that my best wont separate me from the rest.
As depression begins to creep in,
I beg for forgiveness in a world of sin.
The words from the Good Book are no longer giving me peace of mind,
Life is not a race but I feel like I’m running out of time.
Headphones in my ears to drown out the voices in my head,
“One of those voices could be God talking”, is what the priest said.
As the idea of love beings to fade away,
Pain beings to increase deep into my soul day by day.
For help I reach to the sky,
Yet I come up empty and cant seem to know why.
Feeling like my prayers are landing on deaf ears,
Everyday I feel like an outcast amongst my own peers.
My tears fall into a ocean of pain
While the river of hope flows up my creek to help me maintain.
Although it gets harder to live without them,
I try to dine with peace amongst the mayhem.
All I would like is to hear my mother tell me she misses me,
And for my father tell me he is proud of me.
The point of peace I may not ever make,
But the comfort of knowing they are watching me, I will take.