What Will I Find

I wonder if I’m misunderstood,
Does my bad take away from my good?
I decided to drink to take away the pain,
When all I was thirsty for was a mind that was sane.
Voices in my head telling me to run away,
At confession, the priest looked me in my eyes and told me to pray the pain away.
My best friend walked out on me, and if he only knew I was his biggest fan.
The girl I liked stopped calling, I think she did not understand.
I’m losing touch with my family,
But they will understand right? They love me?!
Wonder what makes us want something that leaves us all alone,
Where you begin to think friendship doesn’t exist and everybody around you is gone.
Maybe its me who is the problem,
Maybe a nuisance is what I have become.
As I curl up alone in my room, my good memories begin to escape me fast,
Its like I’m running forward but cant seem to escape the past.
At night I hit my knees pleading for a better day,
I try to escape my crowded mind, all alone where I lay.
Still trying to search for that peace of mind,
Yet, I fear what I may find.