Letter to God

Lord, this is not a prayer, I just wanted to get some things off my chest,
They say you bless us daily but why is it that sometimes I don’t feel so blessed?
When you took my parents I felt you abandoned me,
I could not understand why them and not me,
You know I talk to you daily and ask for help and forgiveness,
Yet sometimes I feel my pleas land on deaf ears like its none of your business.
You know those times when I get angry at you?
I feel no sense of direction. I mean what am I suppose to do?
Why do you think I have lasted this long without them?,
When my mind and soul are in complete mayhem.
I don’t want to seem ungrateful,
I just don’t want to be the lone lost angel.
My family is so far away that it seems impossible for them to love a stranger,
Which make the comfort for being alone greater.
I cant seem to shake this pain,
Even in the sunny days I seem to only feel the rain.
I pray to you every night, but would you say I believe,
Or maybe I have this life wrong, maybe I was deceived?
What do you actually want from me,
I know you have a plan but in the process I fee like I’m failing it slowly.
A direction to go or a sign is what I need,
A sign in the direction where I can make it to peace.
Sincerely Yours,
Ian…
P.S. Hopefully when its my time I can one day walk through heaven’s doors.