Searching But Can't Find

A lost soul trying to find my place,
I’m crying inside don’t judge by the expression on my face.
The priest heard my plea for help and listened to me confess,
When he looked into my eyes he saw a man whose life is a mess.
The idea of death becomes more plausible when its hard to provide,
During mass the deacon said it will go away but I see he lied.
Do you think God protects the weak or does he let life eat them alive,
I’m asking because I’m not feeling to strong so I don’t know if I will survive.
The nights I have sat up and stared into the night,
Asking myself, do I quit or try and put up a fight.
But the fight in me has left,
I still haven’t found my way since my parents death.
I continue to search to find the love to fill that emptiness,
But I’m beginning to think that my life will no longer consist of happiness.
I’m down and out, out for the count, cant take no more,
The say when one door closes more open but I think I trapped behind the closed door.
Pressure breaks pipes and stress breaks down a man,
If he loves me, God will send me an angel to lend me a hand.
I have pleaded so much I think God is tired of hearing me cry,
If I told you I still have kept my faith, it would be a lie.
The tools I needed to succeed He took away,
Get over it, life goes on is what my peers say.
Well if that’s the case through this pen I give you my life,
Happiness cheated on me so pain has become my awfully wedded wife.