Still Haven't Quit

They say true happiness only comes with death,
Therefore pain is a part of us until our last breath.
At night I stare outside to see the weather change from sun to rain,
As the rain pours, it symbolizes the tears of those in pain.
I wonder will wounds ever heal,
Will peace be something I will ever get to feel?
At mass I just stare at the cross with the rosary in hand,
Debating if I have the strength to be a real man.
The dark thoughts cloud my peaceful dreams,
Wishing that the grief is not as bad as it seems.
My teacher told me my writing seemed too dark and hopeless,
But he doesn’t understand that pain keeps me focused.
As I sit here writing my pain hoping these words give me chance,
I have a date in Hell and anguish is the last dance.
The angles seemed to have ignored my plea,
When all I wanted was to find my way to my destiny.
The grief in life seems to always fall on the one who is not ready,
Yet when the pressure begins to apply the world expects you to hold it steady.
Where the days get colder and the nights get darker,
You begin to feel the pain getting deeper.
Everyone tells me “hit your knees and pray”.
But I spoke to God and he does not want to hear what I have to say.
I guess my teacher was right its all hopeless script,
But I still have yet to quit.