Before My Demise

Afraid to fall asleep due to the thoughts I obtain when my eyes close,
It almost feels I'm reaching for something that's so far away yet so close.
Betrayed by faith and tricked by destiny,
The course of life I took made me afraid of me.
Alone in church praying while my heart bleeds tears,
The priest prayed next to me saying God can conquer my fears.
Feels like I'm all alone,
No one to talk to, I’m in a place where I don’t belong.
Maybe I'm not strong enough to handle the hand I was dealt,
On March 10th it felt like sadness, maybe it was hate I felt.
Feels like God has forgotten bout me,
He wouldn't do this to me if he loved me.
You got to understand I'm just a lost souls unsure of his fate,
While trying to figure it out, I have been sleeping with pain beside me as of late.
What if my best is not good enough for you,
What if this is all I got and I have nothing else to do?
I lay for hours with all the lights off and just stare,
Wondering if the ones who say they love me really care.
I believe death sets a caged soul free,
While faith makes blind eyes see.
So I pray to free my caged soul and shine on my blinded eyes,
And hope he answers my prayer before my demise.