R.I.P

Fearful of stating my problems aloud, I cry in the shower,
My pain gets more burdensome by the hour.
Buying mother's day gifts without a mother,
Trying to honor father's day without a father.
As I toss and turn in my sleep wishing it will go away,
As of late my fondest memory has been the day I’m finally taken away.
Look into my eyes tell me is it pain you see,
Could you tell this is not where I want to be?
My prayers turn into pleas for assistance,
Afraid of family members and loved ones so I keep my distance.
To those who love me I’m sorry,
This life has taken the best of me.
Walking a path where I have no idea the destination,
With hell's cologne, I wonder if the priest will allow me to pray amongst the congregation.
My refection is something I am ashamed of,
I run to the priest but he just tells me turn to the man above.
When everything you loved is taken why go on,
I can't be saved because my soul is so far gone.
Time is of the essence and I am running out of ways to seek peace,
Or maybe its useless, maybe peace is only given to those who are deceased.
May I Rest In Peace…